who get's pneumonia at 29 years-old?!?!

the quote "a picture is worth a thousand words" comes to mind, aye? there's too much to write about this strange and awful experience, i'm just going to jot down a few...i still don't have the energy to go through it all.

the good:

- i enjoyed helping my roommates dolores and wanda. dolores was a bit out of it and enjoyed the history channel. wanda was more with it but did not like t.v. and insisted we converse...i felt like i was in college again!

- christmas carolers came twice, i felt like such an invalid...though i did find great humor in it.

- i was wandering around one night, hooked up to oxygen and iv's and a lady called me into her room so she could sing me 'silent night'...that truly was amazing, she was lovely.

- my husband and family did an awesome job getting christmas chores and household chores done so i didn't have to worry about anything.

the bad:

- i had pneumonia

- i couldn't breathe or move

- the 2nd day was worse then the first, which was quite scary

- i couldn't see my kids

- hospital food, enough said

- silent dr.s

the ugly:

- i couldn't see my kids!!!!!

- dolores's stinky diapers...she put hazel to shame

- wanda's bowl movements on the open potty chair...hello!

- steroid treatments, racing heart, swelling, throwing up, panic attacks, lonely nights

one of the main things that always cheered my spirits was thinking about what i would write on my blog. it's not one of my best but it's the best i can do for now.

WHY IS THERE AN ANATOMICALLY CORRECT GINGERBREAD MAN ON MY KWANZA MAT?!?!

this is yet another reason why i love my job! there's not much to say about it. a couple of my lovely students made cookies last night in positive after school...a reward for students who are doing well...and i came in this morning to this! that's funny, or am i just turning into a 9th grade boy? disturbing thought!

what comes first?

the following is a situation i just had to deal with, i struggled with what to do...somedays i really am at a loss.

• four students are playing a board game (great for social skills)
• two students are picking on one (third) student, this student is always a target, he is small and squirrel-like, he has brain damage has not matured past 10 years old. he can be annoying but is fragile and kind.
• the fourth student often tries to be teacher, however, picks and chooses when he is going to tease third student or reprimand those who do. today he is on third's side and tells very impressionable third to call one of the two students "a spic-monkey". that student happens to be of Hispanic decent and is quite sensitive about racial issues.
• all students go crazy, game is flipped and chairs fly.
• who gets in trouble?
• typically, racial slurs are 1 hour of after school detention; however, i do not believe third deserves that, he was just repeating and truly does not know any better...but should i prove a point that he should not mindlessly do what others tell him? i give him a talking to but no detention.
• the two that were picking on third received an hour of after school detention each
• fourth is going to a bulls game tonight, should he get the two hours of detention that i think he deserves? or do i let him off the hook because he was "sticking up" for third? was he really trying to help or was he instigating the whole episode?
• i talk it over with his grandpa and decide to postponed the detention until the next day.
• all are given more serious-boring work until end of school day

my brain hurts.

let me count the ways...

oh how i love my husband...let me count the ways:

1) i love that he reads my blogs without me knowing

2) i love that he loves me

3) he' s an awesome dad and partner parent

4) he is good at his job

5) he is great at keeping up with our finances

6) he grocery shops with henry every weekend

7) he thinks (knows) hazel is the prettiest girl to ever walk this earth

8) he never procrastinates

9) his ability to create thoughtful and meaningful gifts

10) i love that he's slightly socially unaware

11) he is comfortable in a crowd

12) he is a handy-man and never does anything halfway

13) he love the Lord (i almost moved this up but then i thought that would be cheesy...but please remember there is no order to this list)

14) he makes the best scrambled eggs, it sounds simple but it's true

15) he drinks and makes great wine

16) he lets me have my crazy moments

17) he drives my old car...he hates it!

18) he's nice to our neighbors

19) he can make up perverted lyrics to any Christmas song, a true talent

20) i love him because he doesn't fight being stuck with me!

thanksgiving...and it's over!

i have so much to be thankful for. today is one of them. i had the best thanksgiving ever, ty, the kids and i were fortunate to spend last night in chicago, the palmer house hotel (which is one of my faves), we woke up early, duh, and then went to the parade. it was awesome. the weather was perfect, chilly, sunny and just right for great thanksgiving memories. we stayed at the parade for a while and then headed south for shedds aquarium. on the way we were able to see bob the builder, which is one of henry's hero's, and then spend some time exploring grant park. we joined in a game of football with some college kids and headed towards the "big fish", which is what henry was excited for. the kids loved the aquarium, even though henry tried to join a couple other families, we still had a great time. he definitely has his dad's ability to talk to strangers! the second to last pic is our thanksgiving dinner, so to speak, at shedd's cafeteria. i had a great salad, ty a turkey sandwich, and the kid split a lunchable and some fruit. not the traditional meal but we enjoyed it!

day three:

to those of you who are following my sexperiment, it's over. my husband has the uncanny ability to be a mix between a 90 year old and 9 year old and that showed up last night at the hotel. as if having sex with your two children in the room isn't difficult enough, he had to go and act like a complete imbecile! needless to say, our deal was off. how can you have sex with a person who can act like that? not me, and even after 2 days it was if he expected the sex, i'm sorry but NO! i can't do that!

it's hard to believe that the favors by him ended so quickly and he just expected the sex because i told him i was trying to "do it" 7 days in a row. when going back to the article, no wonder the pastor was a man and all of the people interviewed were also men...dirty bastards! as to my previous questions, marriage is not prostitution because getting paid isn't required and as to who wins...he does, or maybe no one does, because i mentally and physically can't do it night after night and not get a better husband for it.

so those of you who considering trying this with your men, don't! it's not worth is. however, i'm probably going to end up doing it tonight because i'm a bit tipsy and henry's spending the night at my parents...damn the luck!

"sexperiment"

i have thought of a catchy title for my experiment...sexperiement, i find it quite clever, if i don't say so myself. however proud i am for this new title, i am beginning to hate myself for thinking that this whole "thing" would be a good idea. i will do a great many things for a laugh but i'm starting to think i've gone too far...and i've only had to engage in "the act" twice.

so here's how it went down last night...no pun intended! we got into a little spat at 5:30, the spat was over in about 12 minutes, very short. i believe that the timing is crucial to my experiment because twice during that spat i mentioned sex. First in a more obvious manner, if he contiued to act like a baby we'd not have sex, then to finish the spat off and to cinch the deal i played this hand (listen up this is good)..."honey, i don't know why you can keep up this act, you know i'm am trying so hard to make our relationship better." he got the point and the fight was over and in record time.

he shortly left to go play basketball and i was able to get some alone time, which consisted of a couple large glasses of wine and i my evening pills, needless to say, i was ready for bed. upon arrival, ty sat down, ate and headed for the shower. i quickly told him that i was heading to bed and to feel free to wake me up. hoping that he wouldn't and that i'd be sitting here writing you about the experiments failure...but NO!

i fell right to sleep, warm and cozy, happily traveling to exotic places with my new boy toy, gavin (or some other name equally as cool, brought with to only serve me drinks and to rub my feet). UNTIL, i was rudely awakened by a double nipple twister-boob mash and what felt like a crowbar between my legs! gross!!!!!!!!! so i forced myself semi-awake, rolled over and let him have his way with me. two minutes later, i was making the cold trek downstairs to our only bathroom.

in the morning he did happily load the entire car for our overnight stay in chicago, he also took the kids to my mom's, which is usually my job, he made coffee and let's not forget this one...he picked up my prescription at the drug store, my knight in shining armor!

i'd like my readers to ponder these two thoughts i've been having, i will address them in later blogs, but let me know what you think...is marriage legalized prostitution?...is he winning or am i?

happy Thanksgiving.

science experiment

To be termed scientific, a method of inquiry must be based on gathering observable, empirical and measurable evidence subject to specific principles of reasoning.[1] A scientific method consists of the collection of data through observation and experimentation, and the formulation and testing of hypotheses.[2]


i received an e-mail from my husband yesterday, it's content included an article written by a pastor who advised his married parishioners to have sex 7 days in a row (with their spouse) to positively enhance their marriage. also included was the single word..."whoo-peee!" i read the article and thought about it, the thought of sex after a long day at work, playing with the kids, going to class, doing house hold chores and everything else a woman, wife, and mother does in a day is not appealing...not at all. yeah, i'll put it out there, i never thought i'd be that woman who would choose a glass of wine and some dark chocolate over sex, but i am...so there. sorry ty. don't get me wrong, we do it...i have made a conscience effort to have sex, or make love (barf!), twice a week. according to some people this is very honorable, one of those people includes myself...and poor, dear tyson will take what he can get. so back to the article, after getting over the initial sickness, i decided to go for it and sent ty a little flirtatious email back..."let's do it...pun intended!"

on the flip side, i discussed the option of creating an actual science experiment around this theory with the women at work. and being the great science teacher that i am i decided to do it properly...and why not include my beloved readers along for the ride...pun intended!


Title: Seven Days of Sex

Hypothesis: Having "relations" with my husband for seven days in a row will increase his general attitude towards his daily household routines.

Reasoning: The positive "attention" received by tyson will influence him to keep me, his wife happy. And knowing how much i appreciate his help around the house and with the kids, i am hoping to get him to do his chores without complaint and perhaps increase responsibilities without having to do the wife nag.

Gathering Evidence: i will keep a daily (b)log reporting on tyson's general attitude and what has been accomplished around the house. specifics on the sexual actions will be omitted, unless of course i find that that specific evidence will enhance my (b)log...or give my friends a chuckle.


day one:
having received the e-mail i sent him, he came home in let's say a "playful" mood. i made dinner, cleaned up and went to my grad class. upon exiting the home, i lightly reminded ty that i was going to follow the pastors suggestions and give the seven days of sex a chance. he smiled, slapped my ass and sent me out the door. i returned home mentally drained and tired. upon arrival, i noticed that the vacuuming had been done and both henry's bed and our bed had fresh sheets!

*please note that the simple promise of sex has encouraged husband to do 2 chores that didn't necessarily have to be done that evening...this is very interesting.

the "act" took place and then i was allowed to have the tv all to myself, even though their was a football game on that he was previously watching...amazing!

in the morning a large tank of propane was placed in my car (for the deep fried turkey we are making at school today). it was freezing cold and spitting sleet, usually ty would complete this task but complaining and negative comments about my job may be made...but not this time!
until tomorrow...

favorite parts of the day...

i was just sitting here, at my desk, looking onto the playground...the snow whirling around, drinking my coffee thinking, i love this time of day. which began the thought process of all of my favorite parts of the day, they may not seem like a big deal to some but these tiny moments make a big difference in my mental health...
a) getting hazel out of bed, she's always happy and rearing to go.
b) good bye kiss from my husband on the way out of the door, after our hectic mornings
c) sitting in my quiet classroom, lesson plans done and my first cup of coffee...the quiet

bfore the storm
d) laughing at my students (see my new instalment of "Lighthouse Lingo")
e) the squeals and hugs from my children when i pick them up after work
f) the squeals and hugs from my children when they see tyson for the first time after work
g) bath time
h) bed time books, prayers and songs, henry always lists what he is thankful for and it's the same everyday, "john deere's and roxy"
i) sitting down in a picked up living room, lighting a candle, and having a glass of wine after
everyone is asleep, even tyson...i do cheris my alone time.

snow day!!!!

very few things are as spectacular as a day off when you least expect it! a snow day...in november, this is so awesome! i feel like it's a secret, stolen day with my kids...i try to make them as special and memorable as possible. today we have already gone out to play in the snow, first time this year! hazel was fascinated and henry has really gotten into it.

when hazel, my little pink marshmallow, went down for a nap. hank and i filled cheap squirt guns with colored water and went to town on the snow. he's a regular picasso (top picture)!

not every parent would be ok with their son wanting to ice skate, but what the heck, if that's what he wants to do, i'll support him!

worry...

i've been told, by my often too critical and polar opposite mother, that i need to worry more. i have always taken pride in my laid back demeanor...cool, calm and collected, i'd like to say. however, i'm beginning to think that that part of my personality should go the way of my physique, you know, sidelined for the sake of my chilren.

since april we have been to the emergency room 6 times. 6 times! i have never gone once for myself. henry has gone 4 times, once for pnumonia, twice for farm accidents (below), and once for splitting open his cheek at the babysitters (top, alittle durobond that time!). i always thought, boys will be boys, right? but what if i'm not right?

now, my precious baby girl has had to have the tip of her left pinky sewn back on after getting it slammed into a door. not just any door but a door at my school, in my classroom, under my watch. and 2 trips to 2 different ERs were necessary.

what if i don't worry enough? what if, what i see as cool and calm is really neglectful...i definately have proof supporting that theory. i have always found comfort in knowing that i'm not in charge and that God watches out for all of us and what will happen will happen...but what if i'm suppose to be providing alittle more support towards God's intentions...like taking care of my babies!?! just a thought i'd like to put out there. i'm not looking for sympathy or guidance, this is just insight into the craziness having children places on a person. if you recall, i want my blog to not only document the fun and excitment of my life but also provide my friends with an realistic view of what goes on in my life...and mind. the following is just more evidence against me in the case that child protective services is called. (listen for henry's final input!)

enough with the 'tards already!!!!

Rule: it's ok to call people with impairments or people with special needs or people who are differently-abled, 'tards if you love them and devote 40+ hours a week to them.





















two major, fun, events have occured that have missed my attention in cyperspace. one, halloween and two henry's birthday. i havn't quite got this blogging thing down, my pics are a bit screwy, please excuse the unorganization and just enjoy...because like i've said before, you all must be so bored that sitting down and reading about my life must be so mind blowingly genius, you won't even notice the odd picture placement. ...and a side note, there have been a couple of more stressful events to occur in my life these past couple of weeks but it's friday night and i just want to focus on the positive...

one) halloween. henry chose the costumes. he is max and hazel is a wild thing, from the book where the wild things are, we read it every night and henry cracks up everytime max chases the dog with a fork (p2). these pictures are from the halloween parade in downtown saint joe. it's a dog and kid parade and then the stores hand out candy, how cute is that?!?! kudos to mom for the awesome costumes!

two) it isn't too off that hazel's picture at henry's birthday party shows up right here...she would have it no other way! henry turned three this year and requested a "race car with no eyes" theme. aparently he has outgrown race cars with eyes. he also wanted all toys that came with a controller, and that's what he got...remote control car, airplane, and dinosaur. needless to say, there has not been a quiet moment in my house since october 22. Henry and his "auntie" (said with a ghetto accent, as she has requested) share a birthday and this is this year's annual auntie and henry birthday pic. please notice the wine back drop to henry's cake pictures...priceless!

...just another day...

inspired by a great friend who, i believe, has found the balance between family and work outside of the home...i will discuss my least favorite days. she hates tuesdays, thought i do dislike tuesdays, the days i really find myself missing my kids most are the days that go like this past wednesday. the work days that go so wrong, long, and stressful, wednesday was beyond crazy...it was completely insane!

i was awaken at 4am by a friend whose 4 week-old was admitted into the hospital because of a cold that was forcing him to gag and limiting his intake of oxygen. she does everything with her husband, especially dr. things, he however was out of town because he was receiving an MRI to check if there was any growth in his brain cancer (there wasn't he's fine after 5 years now, praise Jesus). regardless to say they are always on edge for his MRIs, so i dropped in on her and gave her some dunkin' doughnut's coffee because no one should have to go through that stress without a large cup of the d&d goodness.

i arrived at work at 8:00 and by 9:30, i was back at the hospital. students start coming in the door at 8:45, i asked this particular student to give me his shoes. this might sound like a crazy request but is procedure for students who are a threat for running, he ran away from school the previous friday and attempted to on tuesday. he refused to give me his shoes and ran out of the building. because he is only 15, we have to call the police and chase him down, if he were 16 or older we could just let him go. so several staff went out on foot and vehicle to track him down. they caught up with him about 2 1/2 miles away and he was having an "asthma attack". we called the ambulance and i had to follow behind to the ER until his grandpa came. once the dr. checked him out it was apparent that he was lying and now his grandpa had to pay up to $1000 in medical costs. after separating my student from his grandfather in the hospital room i was free to go back to work.

once my lunch was finished, my beloved 30 minutes of quiet, i trudged back to my classroom. another student was having a not-so-uncommon bad day and was throwing books around the room. i sent my aid out with the rest of the students and called for the "bouncers" to come and help me. luckily, he waited until the guys got down to my room before he went really crazy. he ran behind my desk, opened a drawer...the drawer...where the only pair of scissors are hidden in, grabbed them and went after me. we restrained him and all was well, the police picked him up and took him home, he is suspended for three days.

after all of that i had to take some deep breathes, go on with the school day and wait until i could go pick up my babies.

4:00 rolls in and i go the mile down the road to the babysitters, pick up the kids, and head home. we play outside for awhile, i make dinner, kiss tyson hello at 5:15 and take off for my grad. class until 9:15.

...i hate days like this!!!!!!!! these are the days that i want to be building towns with henry or crashing them down with hazel. i want to make their breakfast, lounge in our jammies, play with play-dough and eat junk food for lunch, go to the park, splash at the beach, go to the library...

bag full o' penis

it's sex ed. time and we have a great young woman comes in from planned parenthood to teach it...thank goodness! as you can imagine sex ed. with 12 9-10th grade boys is quite disturbing, especially since half of the students have had more partners then me...or on the flip side a couple are so immature they don't even know they have a penis.
here are some direct quotes:

- on child birth video: "man, that looks like a cabbage patch kid coming out of an afro!"

- after discussion on the male reproductive system: " sooo you mean i got all that in my pants?!" "i used to say rape when the dr. touched my penis but now i've grown quite fond of it!"

- a student trying to recall the word hormones: "you know, those sex bugs"

- one student who couldn't "take" sex ed. because he was sure the teacher was of questionable moral standards: "i have whore radar!"

- on the term pre-cum: "sex is like basketball, you always dribble before you shoot"

- on female parts: "female thang-thang", "the door"(vagina), "the house"(uterus), "can a girl's package swell up and if it does, can she walk?" on the clitoris: "do dudes have that too?!?!"

- "i like intercourse, outercourse, but not around the course!"

today was practicing putting on a condom day; and not like so many other schools, we do not use banans. our students were given a bag of appropriate colored dildos to choose from and pass around...some dove right in and others shyed away. one particular boy was so mortified by all of this, he has autism and his dad is a pastor, i had to hand him his dildo. when i went in to grab a big one, i spilled the bag all over him. he freaked out, ran out of the building, hopped the fence, and injured his ankle.

just another day on the job...all before 10:45am! again this is why i rely on drugs, alcohol,and Jesus.

my retirement home couple

even tho the names henry and hazel are becoming quite trendy...how i hate that!...my pair are one of a kind. henry enjoys telling stories about fire trucks, police cars, and missing ears...go figure. he aims to please, unless it means finishing his meals...or eating anything at all, for that matter...every thing seems to "make me sick, ohhh, my belly button, i might need some chewy candy!" henry turns 3 at the end of october and is so excited about that. he wants a controller and a helicopter and no more diapers! we'll see.

hazel is my wild child, she consumes every thing around her...food, air, space, people, toys, ext. she is full of life and gets every thing out of a day that can be offered. she never walks, always runs, and dances at the faintest sound of music. she is talking some but mainly growls?!?

exposed

having refused to join face book, my space, and my ghetto (at the request of my students), i have decided to give blogging a shot. let me put this out there right now, i do not believe that my life is so interesting that people should stop what they are doing and read what i have to write...though, if you do i can promise it will be mind-blowingly genius. i have always been under the impression that people who blog think so highly of themselves that they want to put their thoughts and tid-bits of knowledge "out there"* for all to see. but i do have to say that i have been enjoying the blogs my dear friends have been putting "out there" and since we all seem too busy to actually communicate face to face or over the phone...even by e-mail, i will join the self-absorbed many and post a blog.



about me:



i have two beautiful children, henry and hazel, and a supportive husband, tyson. i work in a school for students with severe emotional impairments, i can restrain the largest of men...with 2 fingers...if they are sleeping! i have a crazy mother and an overly sensitive father, both are suffering from empty-nest syndrome and i am "reaping" the benefits. we are actively involved in the children's and sports ministries at church and i am also taking two grad classes this semester...hence the need for drugs, alcohol, and Jesus!



*i use the term "out there" because i'm not sure who might be able to read this and how this actually works, not knowing any of this makes me feel slightly naked...exposed.